Second Hand Smoke
by xDeadlyDiseasex
Summary: HIGHSCHOOL FIC Sakura on the party team smoking, drinking, smoking, yada yada; beautiful teacher? Yes there is! AsumSaku
1. Hangovers n wake n bakes

So this is another usual high school fic, I'm sooo creative-sarcasm-

But I figure I have enough stuff going on in my life that I can direct it to this fic, so it should be interesting.

It's gonna b based off people in my life except like not to the extreme like Neji can b B-Rad and Kiba is gonna b like sexy Nate B. except before he got into heroin

And if you really like Sasuke, this is not good for you because he's taking the place of Prince Of Darkness. He's this little dirty Mexican kid in my school, who calls himself the prince of darkness and he's just messed up you'll see!

READ-N-REVIEW

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I was woken by violent shaking, I felt as if my head was made of fucking lead.

"Come on you hafta wake up! We're going to be late!"

"Urgh… where are we going?" I tried opening my eyes but, it seemed as if they were locked in place.

I heard Ino annoyingly sigh "School! We can't be late or else we get another fucking in school! She ain't getting up just drag her!" The last part to Naruto who just found his orange pants.

I half wobbled and half carried by Naruto, by the time I was thrown in the back of Shikamaru's maroon van I was actually up.

"Troublesome… I knew the party on Sunday was a bad idea."

"Shut it cloud boy and drive!" Ino said without looking up from the mirror as me and her were hastily putting on makeup. Brushing our hair and trying to do something that it didn't look like we slept on Kiba's floor after getting hammered and high as fuck.

We still had a while to go before we ended up near school, I was done undressing and putting on clean clothes I had in Shika's car, just to see Kiba concentrating hard on something in his lap.

"Oh shit don't tell me you got more left!' I couldn't help but grin as I saw the blunt wrap in his hand as he was putting the broken up weed in it.

Never looking up he smiled "Of course, I couldn't remember a day where I didn't have weed in the past year!"

Me and Ino looked at each other grinning saying together "Well there was…"

He scowled and rudely interrupted "Yeah that time you guys snuck into Nara's van and stole my stash! Smoked it all while we all were passed out." Me and Ino couldn't help but laugh at that memory. Everyone was passed out, me and Ino were down to the last beer and felt we haven't gotten fucked up enough; thus we climbed into Shika's passenger window and searched for Kiba's stash.

Finally, Kiba was done light the blunt, blew on the cherry.

"Neighbor!" I said it so fast I felt my heart skipped a beat.

"Neighbor, Neighbor!" Nara was too good at this game.

"Neighbor, Neighbor, Neighbor!" Ino was quite excited as she has surpassed the two guys left.

'Neighbor, Neighbor-" Naruto forgot how many neighbors he has left so he was dumbly counting on his fingers.

Chouji hurriedly "Neighbor, Neighbor, Neighb-huff-huff-huff-" Chouji ran out of breathe already tired.

"Idiots!' Ino said after taking the blunt after me and Shika's too many hits. They stayed that way till Naruto just spouted out neighbors too many times.

Ino passed it to Chouji seeing how she does like him.

"Hey! I said all the neighbors before him!" Naruto said squinting making him look like pig. I smacked him on the back of the head "You said it too many times! SO now you're the last neighbor on the block, sorry." I apologized unsympathetically.

He rubbed his head and grabbed the blunt from Chouji who was coughing up a storm.

Me and Kiba looked at each other excitingly "Only pussies cough!" We laughed, loving to do that every time.

After the last fit of coughs he shrugged "I am what I eat!"

Ino smiled and sat by him "That's so smart!" I looked at him "Well in that case you're a dick." Ino glared at me, I guess Naruto, Nara, Kiba, and I are the only people who enjoy a fine art of joking.

Chouji being laid back, got the munchies and pulled out potato chips… damn they look good. Taking hits I couldn't help but stare at those chips… they're salty smell wafting around. They're yellow layer from being fried in oil, the crunchy sound they make… damn I need some of those freaking chips!

Naruto must've had the same idea because his arm sneaked from behind Chouji's shoulder and before it could get to the bag Chouji grabbed it and whipped it back to him so hard it gave Naruto a bloody nose. Naruto feeling beat on moved to the passenger seat. Finally, only the roach was left, which we all watched as Kiba ate it, paper and all. It always made me smile because he did it with such grace. I light up a cig and passed one to Ino, seeing how we smoked all hers and half of mine last night.

We were baked as hell! So none of us noticed the heat was still blasting and the windows all up; hot boxing at it's finest. The smoke hung around as we were all laughing at Kiba putting chop sticks in his ears and then into his nose making a walrus screech.

"We need to open the windows before we get near school!" We were at the street lights just below the school's hill. Me and Kiba opened up the van's back doors while Nara and Naruto rolled down the front windows.

Me and Kiba watched in amazement as the smoke rolled out of the van and went into the clouds, our van looked like a freaking manufacturing plant. Our van billowed smoke the whole way up the hill. Until when we pulled into the school parking lot.

Red eyes and all we stumbled out of the van and tried to walk ourselves from the parking lot to the front doors. Dodging buses were the biggest bitches in the world. Before opening the door me and Ino sprayed ourselves with perfume, practically bathing in it.

I did a deep sigh… I need a cig. The only thought that crossed my mind as the doors opened and thousands of voices swam into my ears.

First, we had to look as normal as hell. We stood there awkwardly trying to make us look sober; but the more we tried the more we looked like paranoid stoners.

When we finally got to the metal detectors Kurenai glared at me, god she was an English teacher but dressed like a freaking skank.

She took my ipod and my phone. Checked to see if my phone was turned off she glared at me on the other end of the metal detector.

I didn't go off, Shika and Naruto did. Me and Ino stood at the end waiting for them. Kiba went and signed into probation in the library. Even though Kiba was on probation his probe Anko couldn't care less about drug testing, she was there 'cause she wanted the money. As Kiba said she was cool as hell.

We went to the cafeteria for holding room, since school hasn't officially started yet. I couldn't help but scoff at the people in the café tables.

There are the cheerleaders "Like oh my god, I can't believe you did that!" Ino whispered in my ear in a high pitched voice as we walked by the table, we couldn't help but laugh. Then there was the smelly kids table, we held our breathe before coming upon the dark side. I saw Sasuke Uchiha, the most dramatic she-male ever. I came close to Ino's ear in a deep voice "Why, Ino what beautiful razorblades you have." We laughed again.

On the end of the jokes table we finally found a good one. Neji was there with his Zen garden, racking the small grains of sands… yep this was the stoner's table. We all sat around chatting away. We saw Lee, the biggest weirdest jock ever come up to the table.

"I'm here to ask please move away from our table, the smell of smoke and illegal substances is reeking off of you guys and onto our table. We'd appreciate it if you didn't spread your cancer onto us."

I grabbed my jacket and sneakingly watched as his back was turned to us as he walked away. When he sat down, they all looked down to our table I threw the jacket, like a weed smoke bomb they all screeched and scurried away from the table onto one next to the nerds.

We all laughed about it finding it hilarious until the jacket I just threw fell out from above me onto the table. I looked up, it was Iruka. Thank god! He loved me. He smiled at me" Can you please try not to scare away all our football players before the big game?"

I scratched the back of my head and laughed a little "Sorry, Iruka-sensei I'll try to hold it back until end of the season."

He put his hand on my head "Good… now you all behave yourselves." With a stern look and a smile he walked away to go back to annoying Kakashi-sensei. I couldn't help but glare a little at him. He always had his Icha Icha smut book in front of his face so no one ever saw it. He was totally laid back, never really cared about anything. He didn't have a problem with anyone… but me! He hated me for no reason at all it was ridiculous!

With that we all went back to talking 'bout the wonders of the party. Neji sighed irritability "I can't believe I didn't go." Ino looked up from the mirror with no real interest "Oh yeah why didn't you come?"

I spoke for Neji watching the vein stick outta his forehead "He had to go to his cousin's clarinet recital." Neji was never really into parties or drinking, but he did like to smoke and talk about fate and karma. Girls sworm around him all 'oohing' at how deep he was, he never really cared he just liked people hearing his theories of stuff.

Ino scrunching up her hair in the ponytail said while smacking her gum "Oh yeah that freaky blue haired dyed Goth band geek."

Naruto's face got red "That's not nice!" But before anyone could question him sticking up for the girl the bell rang.

Everyone went to their lockers than to their homeroom, me and Kiba went to the Math department. We heard a string of cusses and something falling over from Genma's room.

We walked in seeing Genma-sensei trying to pick up the small desk while holding his right hand up in the air trying to get the cigarette smoke to go to the open window. We closed the door again that's when we got his attention, he was still scowling "You guys have to stop coming in here to smoke, you do know your guys' teachers write you up for not being there.'

Me and Kiba looked at each other than at the math teacher "So." He sighed and propped two other desks in front of the window "Just blow it outside."

Me, Kiba, and the teacher were sitting on the desks blowing smoke out the window with our hands holding the cigs out as well. Genma was chill, he's a smoker too so he feels our pain of trying not to all day; he only started smoking because apparently his wife thought chewing on toothpicks a too bad of a habit. When the last butt was tossed out the window he took out the febreeze and sprayed like an obsession.

The bell rang again, great first period. We waved goodbye and made our way up the stairs again. Kiba and me having fun glaring and pushing all the new little 9th graders outta the way. God it was good to be the oldest in school.

We hugged and went our separate ways, me to science him to history.

God first period science is a bitch, I went and sat at one of the black tables. They were meant for two people at one table. The tall ass stools being a bitch to get up on when your freakn 4'11 AND A HALF!

But no one ever thinks about the vertically challenged kids in school, not short vertically challenged.

I was in the front row, Deidara was my lab partner. Deidara was a really good surfer you knew he did even from his surfing lingo, we also had smoking weed in common even though we only did it once at a bonfire out on the beach together. The table next to us was Sasuke(Joy) and Naruto, this is the time of the day Naruto is at his bitchiness for having to work with the Prince Of Darkness(Or so he calls himself).

Behind me was Gaara the school's leader of Goths and his partner Lee, not that either of them are happy 'bout it. It seems when our science teacher picked out these seats he wanted to destroy our lives. Many of the cheerleaders and preppy girls always missed this class or got it switched seeing as how he had picture's and actual snakes in cages.

Speaking of teacher, he walked in with a snake around his neck. The lights gleaming off his offensively white skin. His Gene Simmons tongue licking his lips and his eyes slanted in a most deafening creepy ass way. His name was Orchimaru, even freaky sounding he walked past Sasuke's table and smiled weirdly at him "Good morning Mr. Orchimaru" what a suck ass… "Ah, Uchiha my best student, I see you are prepared for today."

Rolling my eyes, I didn't feel like listening to this so I put my head down into my arms. After being yelled at, then having to do the science project was easy enough. Mixing chemicals for reactions, Naruto didn't listen and as Sasuke was trying to move the beaker with his mind he let Naruto do the experiment. Naruto ending up having a small… explosion. Which interrupted Deidara from telling me about his surfing stories, Naruto that dick. Orchimaru ran up to Sasuke with a first aid kit in his hand while checking over Sasuke frantically "Are you okay! How many fingers am I holding up! Wait no don't answer that you'll stress yourself!" After cooing over Uchiha for a couple of minutes he turned around glaring at me "You! Girl you take him to the nurses, and you! (Gaara) You carry him there!" Gaara sighed annoyed obviously, me too! Gaara dragged him outta the room when the door began to shut we heard the teacher yelling detentions at Naruto.

Me and Gaara walking ahead of Sasuke who walked slowly to look up at the lights and talk about some messed up stories he was babbling on about. I looked at him wearily "So… how bout Orchimaru freaking over Sasuke like that."

He didn't un-scowl his face "I don't care…"

"Isn't it weird, I'm pretty sure the reason Orchimaru likes snakes so much is 'cause he wants Sasuke's!" I laughed a little, me and Ino liked joking about that.

His scowl deepened till his bottom lips came out like a fish with an under bite "I don't care…"

I sighed, this guy sucked! He's really cute, why won't he talk to me.-sigh- When we finally got there I waved at Hayate, the always sick nurse aid; irony much? Kabuto took Sasuke and not really liking the kid was as ungentle with him as much as possible. Which gave me joy in my heart.

The bell rang again, since I don't carry around a book bag I just went to second period.

Me and Ino sat beside each other on the desks excitingly waiting for our teacher. Our old teacher Jairya was caught sending nude pictures to his student(Ino) so he got fired. We couldn't wait to see who our new teacher would be!

A new English teacher is really exciting, I just hoped it won't be a girl 'cause girls hate me for some reason. Then finally the door opened me and Ino felt tears roll down our cheeks "He's…. He's so…. BEAUTIFUL!!" we stared crying and hugging each other.

Izumo and Kotetsu sweat dropped, they were the security guards escorting the new teacher. Them knowing me and Ino, we all actually smoked a doobie in the janitors closet, they should've known our antics.

Izumo and Kotetsu waved and left in a hurry. The new teacher coughed awkwardly and stood in front of the class room "Hello class I am your new teacher, my name is Asuma." his smile was even more beautiful than any stupid waterfall or hookah.

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That was fun!

NOW REVIEW

Because Asuma's beautiful,

Sam


	2. I'M NOT SHORT!

Ino's and my desks were pushed together never breaking the hug just stared lovingly… at this…. Beautiful human being known as Asuma… god was I turned on.

He scratched his stubbly cheek and smiled… oh god I feel like I just caught fire. "Well… since I'm new I'll tell you a little about myself then you can tell me about yours." Angels were singing out of his throat…

He coughed… I'm in heaven "Well, I'm an English teacher(a little beautiful laugh) I actually grew up in Konoha, when I was eighteen I moved away. I came back here after I got my teacher's degree after a job was offered here for me." He shuffled his feet, what grace. "Any questions?" Me and Ino's hand shot up, we glared at each other pushing at each other's faces. Static coming off our eyes and directed at the other.

He looked a little scared "Uh yes you… girls?" We hurriedly yelled "WILL YOU MARRY ME!?"

"SHUT UP PIG!"

"SHOVE IT FOREHEAD NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY YOU!"

"WHO WOULD WANT YOU AFTER EVERY TEACHER ALREADY HAD YOU!"

"LIES!"

"OH YEAH! THE PICTURES ON JAIRYA'S PHONE SAYS OTHERWISE!'

'UHH! HOW COULD YOU I TOLD YOU IT WAS A SECRET!"

"PLEASE! EVERYONE KNEW WHY YOU WERE GETTING A'S WHORE!"

"Well lets start from the front row, right to left." He hurriedly interrupted our fight. Me and Ino pushed our desks away, the stupid pig.

The first one up was Neji "I am Neji Hyuuga, I believe in fate and karma, I often carry around this little Zen garden to keep my mojo in tact." He spoke calmly without falter, who the hell did he smoke weed with today?

Next was TenTen, oh god the athletic freak who was dating weirdo Lee "I'm TenTen(She spoke in a man's voice and smacked gum always sounding like she's outta breathe) I won the last 500mile run in track, still hold highest javelin and best aim in archery. Also take the black belt in Karate for women's self defense." At the last part she punched Neji in the arm, which made him mess up raking the sand; a grain fell out of the garden. I saw his face go red and vein pop out… oh no.

Luckily Kiba was behind him and started playing Beatles soothing music from his headphones. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds always help Neji find his center.

Next was me, oh god "I'm Sakura Haruno, I'm apart of the group SWED(at that Ino and Kiba chuckled) I'm a chain smoker and like making little emo boys like Sasuke(He was listening to My Chemical Romance) cry." TenTen looked at me "There's not group called SWED in school."

"I know." Asuma looked at me interested "Oh, so it's an after school activity." "Yeah, something like that."

You could hear Kiba laughing in the back, see SWED stood for Smoke Weed Erry Day, quite beautiful huh?

Ino talked about her beauty and how she was probably the only blonde who hasn't been knocked up, yet. The second row consisted of Kiba telling everyone about his dog. Sasuke about how he needed to find his amulet since he's a vampire and if he doesn't find it he'll be sucked into the black spot of the world… what ever.

The only people left was the people that called themselves the Akatsuki. See they were different people in one thing, I guess their own clique didn't accept them or they don't have one. It was weird this was their only period all together. Like Shika they like clouds, they do wear red ones everyday on their shirts.

Deidara the surfer, when not surfing he liked art his specialty was birds. Drawing birds, molding birds, one time we even found him stuffing a bird. Konan was a constant PMSer who argued with every member. Kakuzu or what ever the hell is name is talked about money.

The other was a hippie, Zetsu was pretty chill. He was into saving nature and all that jazz. The only thing is, he has two personalities claiming he had a bad side or what not. Then there was Tobi who was very sweet, he still acted like a little kid. He wore nice clothes and such a goody goody it made us sick. Never drank, swore, or smoked. One time on the hill me and Ino talked him into taking a drag of our cig, we thought he was going to die as how much he was coughing. Then he threw up saying "Tobi don't think Tobi likes to smoke."

There was the weird bible humper Hidan, I remember back in elementary school he killed a rabbit for 'sacrifice'. From what Naruto said in the boys locker room Hidan was covered in cuts, most likely an emo. He swore like a mother fucker almost as bad as me!

The biggest kid in the class was named Kisame, he reeked like fish even worse than Ino, HAHA I shouldn't be thinking that she's my BFF. But anyways, he was the fastest on the swim team, his time was in seconds it was ridiculous.

Sasori, was a doll obsessed weirdo. He spends his time in the workshop making wooden dolls, the teacher felt awkward grading them but, happy he has such a passion for wood. (HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that)

They're leader was Pein, but he was still in fifth grade, he was such a mouthy little kid too. When he ride his tricycle around town he hits on me and Ino by saying "Hey baby if you show me your melons I let you ride on my handlebars." He makes us laugh, even though he was so young he had lots of peircings.

I also hear that Sasuke's older brother was in the group too but, he's in a year ahead of us. SO to say they're a group of freaks run by a little fifth grader is safe to say.

When Asuma looked at the clock he noticed only five minutes left, which meant talkie time. We all crowded around Neji's desk who was still sitting there with his face scrunched up, eyes closed, through grit teeth singing "Sky rockets in flight… afternoon delight"

Asuma came around talking to us "So, Sakura you never did tell me what SWED stood for." everyone looked at me smirking. The bell rang, I smiled sweetly at him and patted his shoulder "I'll tell you when you get older"

With that I walked out. I walked begrudgingly to gym, I hate gym

After changing I walked into the gym. I sat up against the wall, god getting down from a high really tires you out. Chouji sat down next to me while eating a honey bun… "Hey give that to me."

He glared at me "No"

"Pleasee" He glared more and took an angry bite out of it "You sound like Naruto!"

I huffed, I really wanted that honey bun. Looking around I saw Sai, he was a weird one. He had zero emotions, dressed like emo, talked nerd, and had physical ability like jock. We all used to talked to him, before he became a rat.

I really didn't like him after he ratted on our party out in the woods. Fucker Kiba was still on probe for that, he was caught. Chouji, Naruto, and Ino were driven home to get bitched at by their parents. Me and Nara were luckily out getting more weed that when we came back, we saw the cops leaving. Figured it out and left in a hurry trying to lay low. Other people there were caught too, Kankuro Gaara's older brother; was actually in jail now, for being over eighteen with minors. Supplying alcohol and all that other nonsense charges. Which sucked 'cause we loved his big hippie nature loving ass.

"Shut the hell up you crazy bitch." I saw Hidan walk out from behind the wall.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!" Heard Konan.

"Bring it whore." crazy bastards…

I also saw Neji's little cousin, she was standing in the middle awkwardly looking ready to faint. I don't hate anybody, that's Ino's job that and to be mean to them. But when I see Sai picking on Neji's cousin, I know it ain't right so I got up ready to go kick some rat jock ass.

Chouji sensing trouble tried to get up and follow me, but like a turtle on it's back… he was down and out for the count.

"Hey dirt bag why don't you actually pick on a guy, oh wait you can't 'cause they will actually kick your ass." He looked shocked at first but, then seeing it was me he smirked and crossed his arms.

"Why don't you go bitch at someone your size, I recommend a third grader." Sounding so smug, all his jock friends laughed with him, I saw TenTen behind him.

"FUCK YOU I'M TALLER THAN YOUR DICK!" bastard! I ain't short I'm tall!

He looked a little angry than composed his posture "How am I suppose to insult someone who already knows they're trash?" That bastard hearing their laughs made me madder.

I slugged him making us fall on the ground, struggling to move his arms and get to his face so I can slug him again. I felt myself being picked up with ease, Gai-sensei. I sighed and yelled "That one wasn't for me it was for Kiba! No the next one will be for me and you'll remember it for the rest of your useless life! You dirty gutter rat!" My voice got screechy like a banshee at the end.

TenTen and all the other manly looking girls were cooing over Sai's face. I sat in Tsunade's office for the rest of the period. I watched as Shizune ran around frantically for paper work, and behind Tsunade's obscured window to her door I saw the Sake bottle held in the air her shaking it violently trying to get every drop. Luckily lunch was next!

"I don't think I'm going to make!" I said between chewing my French fries dipped in cheese.

Ino was too busy checking her teas label, Naruto was still yelling at the lunch lady… well Yamato for not having ramen. Neji while picking through his white rice reading his Jerry Garcia book. Chouji was eating, Kiba was in the boys bathroom doing a drug deal. Shikamaru was just being… lazy.

I sighed loudly flinging my arms in the air before pushing my face on the table and smacking my hands down. I felt something hit my head, I brought my hand up looking at it… a piece of pretzel. I felt my eyes narrow. "Uh oh" Everyone at the table was looking at me, I looked around for the table responsible…

There they were, the Akatsuki table were arguing with each other throwing food. I got up ready to kill…

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"The kids are a handful, and filled with quite characters but they're respectful in their own way." Iruka was talking to Asuma who was listening intently until he saw a flash of pink.

"I have a question about the pink haired girl-"

"Sakura?" Iruka looked at him questioningly, he nodded "She's quite a character alright, she tends to be a troublemaker. Numerous of times she came into class smelling like cigarettes and… well never mind. Now she just doesn't show up usually."

Iruka started to explain "You see… Sakura Haruno is a nice girl, she's really smart. I try to keep her out of trouble's way."

Asuma nodded understandingly… well he thinks he understands.

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I dropped the pretzel piece in the middle of the table, Konan and Deidara stopped choking each other and everyone stopped looked at me. "Who threw this at me!?"

That's when that little blue-haired bitch said "Please no one cares about you or your ugly hair."

I breathed in deep, "Listen here you flat chested little bitch, if you don't shut the fuck up I'm coming over this table and beating your face in." I said it nice and calmly.

"I'LL FUCK YOUR DAY UP MIDGET!!" I flew over the table a fistful of hair and fist in temple…

Hidan and Deidara watched with big eyes and said in union "I'm in love…(a yeah ended at the end of Deidara's)"

Asuma and Iruka came and once again for the second time today I was pulled away from a perfectly good fight, which I once again started…

The Akatsuki were holding back the red faced Konan and I was flailing to get back at her while Iruka and Asuma drag me to Iruka's classroom.

They sat me down on a seat, I got up and was pushed back in it. Crossed my arms looked away and pouted like a child in time out.

"What's the matter with you!?" Iruka going off like a mother. "I can't believe you'd do something so, so, STUPID!"

"Take a load off." I said finally acting laid back.

"A load off… a load off… she said take a load off" Iruka looked at Asuma in disbelief.

Asuma sighed and said "I think Iruka's trying to get at is, it wasn't the smartest thing to do; we're only looking out for you."

"Well I thank you and you, now if you'll excuse me." I went to walk confidently away till Asuma grabbed my wrist, I slouched in defeat. Turned around stomping my feet jutting out my bottom lip whining "What?"

"What happened so horribly that you had to use violence?"

I slouched down and sighed, crossing my arms I said "They called me short…"

"Short? Well you are" Asuma looked amused.

I rose my hand up in a first and my eye twitched "I AM NOT!… I am vertically challenged…."

He raised his eyebrow in amusement "In other words… short."

"I swear to god if you call me short one more time!-"

Iruka quickly intervened knowing how much that word annoyed me "Sakura, that is not a good reason for fighting."

I sighed again and shuffled my feet "I know…."

Iruka sighed after that "I'm sorry but, I'm going to have to give you…. Detention."

"What! This is an outrage! DETENTION IS SOOOOOoo… boring!" I whined that could compete with Naruto's

He shrugged "I'm sorry but, I have to."

I huffed and kicked invisible dirt "Well… whose the teacher?"

Iruka looked at Asuma in a weird way… I don't feel so good. "Well, I think you can be Asuma's first detention student. You can give him his first practice before he does real detention."

Asuma is beautiful but, I groaned "Teacher detentions are the worst! I guess I'm going to be the only one in the room. Than that means I can't past notes to anyone!"

Iruka and Asuma raised their eyebrows, they did it too good in sync "You're not suppose to do that anyways…"

I flung my hands in the air "Whatever!" I walked out feeling defeated hearing Iruka yell '2:50 sharp!' I flung my hand in the direction of the door like swatting away a fly.

Detention sucked ass, and now I have to do it alone! I couldn't help but huff and stomped like a little child down the hall. Then I smiled laughing to myself 'I'm going to pop Asuma's detention virginity!'

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Beautiful teacher, a pink haired smoker? I wonder what that makes?

Until the next REVIEW,

Sam


	3. Fuck Dude

"Hot cha cha!" I whispered it in excitement for accomplishing balancing a pencil on my nose, it was really wiggly but stayed there. That is until a hand slammed down on my desk causing me to tilt my head back down. The pencil that fell to the floor went unnoticed as I was staring into the angry eyes of Kurenai, god I hated fifth period just because I had to be here with her.

"Ms Haruno, since you're too smart to pay attention in my class than you can answer my question." Right her question… what was her question again?

Square root of forty-five, no that's math with Genma. Bra size, no those were Jairya's old questions; what the hell does Kurenai teach anyways? I raised my eyebrows together and threw my hands up "I give, tell me the question again."

She gave me a sideways look of 'obviously I knew you weren't paying attention' eat me out bitch no one pays attention to you anyways! Oh shit wait she's saying something! "-Fifth time! You interrupted my class for the last time Ms Haruno. Knowing that if I send you to Tsunade you'll get off again." She gave an irritated look. "So instead I think I'll take matters into my own hands… a teacher detention!"

I jumped up pushing my chair to collide into a sleeping Tobi's which woke him up yelling "Tobi's a good boy!" I pointed my finger at her scowling, until I brightened up and smiled "Why, Kurenai-sensei I'd love to accept your punishment and grow from my horrible behavior, but sadly I already have a teacher detention today." My false sweetness coming out like thick honey.

"Who do you have detention with?" She looked skeptical of me. "Why the new teacher Asuma-sensei." Kurenai blanched and looked astonished, I guess she had hots for him too. Then she regained a normal stoic look "Fine, then I expect you here tomorrow after school."

I groaned and slammed my head on the desk, I HATE detentions… especially teacher 'cause then I have to stay with them. And their so gay, 'Don't tell me you don't have any work. How about the homework I assigned today? Well then if it isn't complete tomorrow and on my desk than I'm going to assign you another detention with me.' God, this is the worst day… well tomorrow really 'cause it's basically like another period with Kurenai.

I sighed kinda-not-really doing the packet she assigned. The bell rung once again and I skipped merrily to Math! God only knows how my ass snuck it's way into Algebra, probably because I cheated off Kiba, who cheated off Ino, who cheated off Deidara who had this really cool high-tech phone that did answers like a MO-FO!

And I got to sit in the back row and everything! It was like Christmas without the fat man… I looked at Chouji. Well never mind-NO, sorry can't think that it's too mean.

Ino was in the front row hitting on Genma, skank. While me and Chouji sat in the back with our heads down. Next to me on the right was Sauce-Gay and in front of me was Shikamaru.

Feeling INCREDIBLY B.O.R.E.D I was drumming my fingers and my right hand fisted underneath my chin. I look over at Sasuke, he was scribbling down something while rambling. I scotched a little his way, still couldn't hear. I glared at Genma's back while he was writing on the chalkboard, bastard's too loud! I acted as if I dropped my pencil so I could get close and hear what he was saying. I caught a gist of…

"She had blue eyes-something--something-something- hundred years of love-something-pony-something-evil son of vampires-something-something-past of my three lives-something-girl-something-beautiful-something-something-huge tits-something."

I got he loved a blue eyed chick long ago, something about vampires and he used to have huge tits back in the day. And that is all I got outta that, I was peeking over to look in his diary when I hit with a chalk board eraser.

"Owwwie you dick!"

I fell over backwards again after having a ruler thrown "NO SWEARING!"

I rubbed my head pouting while sitting on the floor "What's the matter with you! Are you crazy or something! God damn…" I saw him raise his hand with a book in it, I hurriedly ran behind a desk "NO NO NO! I'M SORRY DON'T!!! CHILD ABUSE STAYS FOR A LIFETIME!"

He sighed and rubbed his temple "You give me a huge headache. And will you pay attention for once in your life!" Ino looked at him sweetly folding her hands "I was listening Genma-sensei"

"No you weren't you were thinking about his ass!" Shikamaru was tired of hearing all this bitching, the only reason he was still in Algebra was because Naruto got him to fail for the past two years. How he managed that, I do not know but I do know that Nara is an angry boy.

After that I was done for abuse for the day so I snuck in my headphones and put my head down.

God Anthony Green had this amazing voice, beautiful lyrics, and he just… had it.

"I feel smooth skin slightly

Brush against the back side of my a-ar-ar-arms.

I need the song started over,

Your crying made me miss my favorite pa-ar-ar-ar-art"

Quite beautiful

Before I know it Chouji shook me awake, god Seventh already?

I walked groggily to history, yawning the whole way there.

When I got there I crashed on the desk Iruka walked by me too cheerfully said "Don't forget teacher detention." The only response he got was a loud un-welcoming groan.

We had a vvveerrryyyyyy iinnnttterreeessstttiiinnnggg talk about King Author, who ever the hell that is.

Naruto didn't pay attention from the discussion and when doing the work sheet I noticed one of his answers

1. Who was King Author?

(in chicken scratch ledger) king of England

Reject… I looked down at my paper…. Who was King Author? I smiled at myself and looked over at my neat answer 'King Of Britain'

After a couple more most likely wrong answers I put the papers down, whoever was done was free to go out of the room and into the little open area in the history department. It had round tables and chairs in the open part.

Me and Naruto sat there bored, after finding a month old bag of skittles in his bag we decided to throw it at Chouji who was still in his classroom, he tried catching them into his mouth when he got one all three of us raised our arms in the air as if we were on a roller coaster yelling "SCORE!"

"Do I need to ask why you are interrupting classes?"

I looked behind me, crap Kakashi… I looked over to my left, where the hell did Naruto go? Oh that chicken shit ran!

I scratched my head sheepishly while laughing a little "See… Chouji was quite hungry, him being a growing boy and all need his energy up so he can focus. SO I thought I was being nice and feeding him." I put a handful of skittles in front of his face… he didn't look amused.

I sighed in defeat "I know, I know… go to the office…"

He put his hand on my shoulder while I was walking past. "No I think you should head to Asuma's, the bell will ring soon." As if on cue that screechy sound echoed through out the school.

--------

I looked at the clock on top of the wall 2:53 good I'm late!

I mean, you never want to be on time for ANY punishment, it's the principle of things. It let's the punisher know you are not happy about it, but shows enough decency to actually show up… something Kiba doesn't do. Kurenai's going to KILL Kiba when she finds him, this would be his fourth time skipping her teacher detention.

I sighed, said my goodbyes to Hidan and Deidara, who were tied to my ass the second they saw me after lunch.

I walked to Asuma's classroom, staring down lovingly at my pack of cigs before opening the door.

The room was empty, I looked under the desk, no one. I saw the closet door, a light was pouring from under the door. I bent over trying to see in, of course my eye didn't see nothing so I opened the door. Asuma was in there blowing cig smoke into a vent above his head.

I smiled he hurriedly hid the cig behind his back, I jumped into the closet with him and closed the door behind me. "This is what I call detention!"

He looked confused and like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar "I don't know what you mean, and I am NOT smoking with my underage student!"

I pouted a little "Hmph, please? I brought my own."

He sighed and rubbed his head "Okay…"

After lighting my cig and a couple of hits, I looked at him contemplating… he looked damn good smoking.

He looked over at me, I acted as if I didn't noticed and acted as if I was counting how many cigs I had left, "So how long have you been smoking?"

I shrugged "Well, first hit was in sixth grade, I started smoking regularly during the beginning of Seventh, so about (counting on fingers)four years! Damn that ain't too long… you?"

"Sometime in high school also, so about many years." I nodded and pounded my fist over my heart "Respect for senior troopers." that was such a Kiba thing to do, I hang out with him too much.

He nodded his head and held up his hands "Please, no autographs." I giggled and he snorted at his stupidness.


End file.
